Wednesday, March 30, 2011

B, B and B take Seattle (aka Tourists, Togetherness and Already-Been-Chewed Gum)

Our trip to Seattle in pictures (but with some explanations so you're not like going, "Whaaaa??").

Let's start with a dash of husbandman yumminess. BAM!

Yup. This is real life.
The Museum of Glass
There's them ruining the beauty of the glass by acting like a demon from hell and a human blowfish. Sorry about them. I work with what I've been given.
But hey, if you can't beat em...

The Space Needle Restaurant rotates in a complete circle every 45 minutes or something. People leave notes on the window sill so they rotate over to you while you dine. We had some nice pen pals from Canada.

P.S. It didn't rain once the whole time we were there!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Welcome Spring

Don't get too grossed out, but I still have colored bogies in my nose after 3 whole days. I find it sounds a tad less disgusting when I say it in the British way. 

Welcome, Spring, in all your colorful splendor. 

Monday, March 21, 2011

Just grab a friend and take a ride...

I use this photo every time I take a road trip because I just love it that much.

My dad, sister, husbandman and I are heading to Seattle for the week. I'm shooting a documentary there for school which hopefully is going to turn out awesome. Wish me luck! I'm sure it's going to be rainy so I'll need to remember to get our umbrella out of the freezer...

I still get a huge kick out of this song:

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Sometimes when we're bored...

I know you've been waiting with baited breath to hear all about our Friday excursion! Well, quite frankly, I'm not surprised. 

Mom decided she wanted to go do something fun for her birthday. Little brothers suggested dinner. I suggested a movie. Mom suggested we fly to California for the day. It was a very difficult decision. 

So at 6:30 Friday morning we were hopping on a plane heading for the beach! I thought Berlyn's head was going to explode with happiness. We had a completely fabulous day in Newport Beach followed by dinner at Bubba Gump's in Long Beach. Then we hopped on the 8 pm flight back to Utah. If you ask me, that beats a movie any day of the week. Even if I did still think it was winter and forgot sunscreen. Oops. Sorry nose!

What did you do this weekend?

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Costuming Decisions

Welp, kids, I need some help. As many of you may know, husbandman and I along with some of my cousins have recently been involved in a mysterious string of events. The plot thickens with every turn. Honestly, I have no idea what to expect from the whole thing. If you are just now tuning in to this developing story, you can read more about it here and here.

We have all decided that H2 stands for Halloween 2, since we are all required to dress in costume for no apparent reason in April.  And since, as previously discussed, this is likely to be the day that I die, I want to look good! So, dear friends, I am asking you to contribute some costume ideas. What has been your favorite ever Halloween costume? Couple costumes would be especially good for this because, as you know, I have this guy that I'm kinda liking that needs a costume too. If it was up to him, he would go as a college student. Sorry, baby, but that's lame. ;) Help me!

Here are our costumes from the past two Halloweens:
We were Medusa and the man turned to stone. My fingers were raw after making that headband.
For some reason I can't find a picture of me in my costume last year. So here is my cousin modeling it for me. I burned the heck out of my fingers making this dress. Apparently my fingers do not like Halloween. It's pretty spectacular in person if I do say so myself. I was a peacock (obviously). I found those eyelashes at a drug store and designed the costume based on them.

Any ideas?? I'm fresh out.

Friday, March 18, 2011

I may have fallen asleep 6 times while writing this...

Hello friends. I'm very tired today. I only slept for two hours last night. I don't know how my fingers are even doing this right now. I am not entirely sure that what I am typing is discernible as English. If not, I apologize. And if I've accidentally typed some offensive words in a different language, I apologize for that too.

Today is Awkward and Awesome Thursday (errrrr, Friday cause I didn't get around to posting it until then). Notice I have not used any of my regular exclamation points so far in this post. This is to help you imagine me speaking in the monotone voice I am positive accompanies this post in my current state of exhaustion. 

- Today I was driving on the freeway randomly singing the "Do, Re, Mi" song from the Sound of Music. Everything was all well and fine with that until I passed the carcass of a deer, a female deer, on the side of the road. After that it just seemed morbid. 
- The moment I meet a new person, I immediately start planning a conceptual photo shoot starring them. Is this normal? I think not. 
- A few days ago I went to the Spring Home and Garden show with my family-in-law. They had this stuff there that you rub on your sore spots and they instantly feel better. For real. I have dreamt every night since then about taking a bath in the stuff. There's a lot of goop involved. 
- The word goop.
- Today I found my umbrella in our freezer.
- While in the freezer I grabbed some leftover Ben and Jerry's and I blew on it because it was too cold. I don't know why I did that. 
- oihfqwe;qefhoiqegh'qiwghq'ioerghigo'h (that was me falling asleep on the keyboard).

- It's St. Patrick's Day and also my mom's birthday. Happy Birthday, Mama! I was able to come up with one spurt of enthusiasm in celebration. She's 29. Forever. You can check out her hotness here.
- Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.
- Husbandman is an awesome drummer in need of a band to play for. Do you know anybody?
- On Sunday this cute little boy was saying the prayer in my friend's primary class. He said, "Thank you, Heavenly Father, that I didn't explode." I find this a perfectly reasonable thing to be thankful for.
- Apparently it's illegal to bite off another's leg in Rhode Island. I'm so relieved.
- I've decided to use bubble wrap in place of a traditional cover for my Macbook.
- Today there was a category on Jeopardy called "That's What She Said." This made my whole life.
- I went somewhere super awesome. Can you guess where?
 Did anything awkward or awesome happen to you this week?

Friday, March 11, 2011

Scenes from a Camera Phone

It's a completely gorgeous outside and I've been stuck inside all day working on my computer. This is what I'm looking at right now.

I think someone wants to go outside and play.

It IS a pet. It counts.

Sister can't have pets at her apartment. I find this to be sad news. So I made her some pet rocks to fill that void in her life. Originally I was just going to stick googly eyes on a rock. But, well, they sort of... evolved. They're classy like that.

Meet Earnest and Earnestina.
They enjoy sipping brandy, a good polo match and visiting art galleries to have pretentious conversations about the paintings. They're fancy.

And by Tuesday, I mean Friday. Because that's how my week has been. 

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Please summer, don't be late...

How I'm feeling today...

I'm so tired of the cold and snow! I need summer to be here. Like now.

- I'm feeling creatively moribund.
- Today I was sewing on a button and eating peanut butter M&Ms. Apparently I mixed up my hands and into my mouth the button went.
- I finally joined the Beautiful Belly Challenge and displayed my beautiful belly for the world to see. That was hard.
- This morning I was listening to music while in the shower. My favorite song came on so I turned the shower knob down so I could hear better. The shower knob, of course, does not make it quieter, it makes it colder.
- My littlest brother schooled me in Just Dance 2. This is awkward because we were dancing to a Pussycat Dolls song.
- My alarm clock plays the beginning of the song The Circle of Life from the Lion King. Listen to it and you'll understand why I jump every time.

- I'm going to Seattle for Spring Break! I'm so excited to be anywhere but here. Any locals or frequent visitors have advice on activities/ places to eat?
- My favorite movie right now: Morning Glory. Have you seen it? It's irresistibly delightful in my book! The scene where the weather guy passes out in the jet?? I die!
- Today I talked 5 people in one of my classes into wearing costumes during finals week. I feel this will help ease the stress.
- My mom told me that if I was a boy, they were going to name me Braden. :)
- Today I learned how to fold a dollar into a ring. Our waiters will be getting some freaking amazing looking tips.
- Brade and I just finished off a couple rolls of wrapping paper on a craft project. We plan to use the cardboard dowels for an epic duel to the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack.
- I found out there is a Ninja restaurant in New York. The whole place is a like a ninja palace with mazes and stuff. While you're eating, sometimes the lights go off and your silverware gets stolen from your table. I want to go there for my next birthday. Will somebody please let husbandman know?

Did anything awkward or awesome happen to you this week?

Dear Friend,

Hello friends! We are friends, right? I mean, you know all kinds of things about my life due to my uncontrolled habit of oversharing. I haven't yet unlocked the mystery of that moment when you can call a mere acquaintance a friend. And by acquaintance, I mean cyber-entity who left a nice comment on my post that one time. I do want you to know that I do consider you a friend, and I want to thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I have written in this space for quite some time now, but I didn't really start getting into the blogging world and writing regularly until the beginning of this year. It was part of my goals for the new year to write a few times a week. Right now my life is a little crazy, but I always have my husband, my dog and my blog. For some silly reason, that brings me comfort.

This is a long post and much more serious than the stuff I usually write. This is my 100th post, and I'm going for totally honesty. So here's some more...

I've been wanting to do this for a while now, ever since I saw Kelsey's post on her blog. It's been in the back of my mind but I even as I write this I still don't know if I'm brave enough to actually post it. I have struggled with my weight and body image since before I can remember. It's always been that one thing that was never right in my life. Being overweight is in my genes and in my lifestyle... and in my heart. I've never been able to share my friends' clothes or go swimming suit shopping without wanting to cry. I've never been at all comfortable in front of the camera, which is one of the reasons I'm so comfortable behind it. I can't even imagine myself being thin because I've never known myself as anything but "the fat girl." Sometimes I even feel like I don't really deserve a different body.

I am so incredibly lucky to have found a husband who loves every last bit of me-- even the lumpy bits. He has never once looked at me differently because I am overweight. He says I have curves in all the right places. I don't even think he sees the extra pounds. He treats me like I'm beautiful. The hard part is that he can tell me that hundreds of times, but I don't feel it because there needs to be a change within me. I want to feel beautiful for him. And for me.

I'm participating in the Beautiful Belly Challenge from Melissa at Perfect Peace. To participate in this challenge, I have to take a picture of my belly and post it. Oh. My. Dang. My belly has not seen the light of day since the 80's. I'm so self-conscious about my body, especially my tummy. And now I have to post it for the world to see. Talk about vulnerable. But I'm never going to succeed in changing my life until I accept who I am and accept the body I was given with all of its flaws. I need to feel better about myself and know that I deserve to feel beautiful.

So it's time for me to make a change. This isn't going to be a diet. They don't work for me. I've tried implementing an exercise regimen and it makes me exhausted, sick and miserable and I quit. This is going to have to be a total lifestyle change. I need to change my life for me. I am scared to do it because I know that it's going to be really hard and I'm going to have to be a different person than I have ever been before. I'm taking a leap of faith. I want to be a better person. So here's my beautiful belly in all its glory. I still can't believe I'm doing this. I'm having a hard time telling myself that it's beautiful. But I'm working on that.

This is the hardest post I have ever written because having a good body image is the biggest challenge of my life. I hope that this post can be helpful to at least one person out there. Writing about it was helpful for me.

This is day one of my personal Beautiful Belly Challenge. I'm starting to train to run a marathon in a year with the female members of my family. It's something I've secretly always wanted to do. Honestly, I can barely run around the block without wanting to die. I have no idea how I'm going to succeed in running that enormous distance. I'm literally going to be taking it one step at a time. It is going to be maybe the biggest accomplishment of my life if I can. I'm really grateful to have the support and encouragement of the ladies I love. They make me think that maybe, just maybe, I can do it.

I'm taking a leap of faith.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

While I'm Eating Swedish Fish

I somehow always end up doing blog posts at 2 or 3 in the morning. This time I'm doing it while eating Swedish Fish. There really is no other candy that tastes like them anywhere, is there? Go Sweden! Here's an adorable picture of husbandman as a small child. He was big into karate in this portion of our lives. I think he even had a brown belt (ooh! aah!) This sweet move was displayed for all at my seventh birthday party. Loooove that haircut! He's going to kill me when he sees this.

This week's Weird Wedding Wednesday highlights one particular portion of my job in which I am proud to say I have become quite skilled-- damage control, aka incident management. My mad skills cover all those things that happen at weddings that I don't want the bride to find out about.  If ever there is a crisis, I'm your girl. I can keep my head and even keep others around me from freaking out.

The day of this incident was a Thursday. It was the first in a string of incidents that would plague us for the rest of the weekend. Just as the wedding was starting to wind down, I caught a whiff of smoke from the direction of the dining room. I left my post to investigate, sniffing around, acting very much like a determined blood hound. The smell eventually led me outside to the gardens. The smoke was pretty thick in the air. I looked around and I couldn't see anything unusual, but something was definitely burning. I picked up a forgotten glass of water with the intention of returning it to the kitchen. The kitchen manager for the evening came outside. He smelled it too.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an orange flicker. The gazebo was on fire! Literally in flames! I ran over and attempted to quell the flames by throwing the half-drunk glass of water I held on the fire. Yeah. I'm good in a crisis.

He was smarter. He brought the hose.

I am now adding fire-fighter to my resume.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Franchesca and the Royal Pet

It's March. I have spring fever. A bad productivity-threatening case. But rejoice, because it's Awkward and Awesome Thursday!!

- I am writing this post solely as a means of avoiding homework.
- I tried skinny jeans for the first time recently. They don't fit me right at all. It makes me sad. :(
- My husband looks likes he's fourteen when he's clean shaven. I know that some terrible day in the future, someone is going to mistake me for his mother. That may also be the day I take up drinking.
- Me running. The whole thing. Especially the part where I about pass out and lie there waiting to die. It's all just very very awkward.
- The home teachers came over and I got the chair that makes it sound like you farted when you stand up. I hate that chair.
- Found a skull-shaped piece of cereal in my breakfast today. I equate that with Harry finding the Grim in his tea leaves. My days may be numbered now.
- My conversation with our mailman went something like this:
Me: Hey! How are you doing? You brought that early today.
Him: ........
Me: Anything in there besides bills?
Him: ........
Me: Well, I'm on my way out, so I'll get that later, ok? *getting into my car*
Him: ........
Me: Ok, you take care. Have a great day!
Him: Did you ever pay that dentist bill that showed up a few weeks back?
Me: ........
Seriously?? Who is this guy??
- I scared the crap out of myself this morning with a practical joke that was meant for husbandman. I don't want to talk about it.
- I spent an hour trying to find out for sure if a hearse can drive in the carpool lane.

- God and I made a deal. I'm never going to get any older than 24.
- The ice cream place we went to had us sign our receipt with a freakishly huge pen. They said they were sick of their pens being taken by mistake.
- Husbandman and I decided to make a movie where we act like raptors. Shall we see if I can talk him into letting it make an appearance on this blog?
- My professor stopped in the middle of his lecture and said that anyone on Facebook in class would have to come up and do an interpretive dance to the Spice Girls song of his choosing.
- I learned that the average pencil can draw a line for 35 miles. How do you suppose they figured this out?
- Today I finally turned on my Wii Fit again. I was worried because it's rude when you miss a workout. My trainer asked me how I was doing today. One of the options was "You're lucky I'm even here." It's almost spooky how well that thing knows me.
- I have had several requests for pictures of husbandman and I as little kids. If you've read our love story (or guessed from the title of this blog) we met in the first grade. These photos are of us and our little sisters playing a game our mothers inform me was called "Franchesca and the Royal Pet."
I'm making myself sound old here, but this is how children played before video games were around much. Look how tan we were! It's because when I was young, it was actually safe for kids to play outside without being kidnapped or forced to buy lawn care with their mom's credit card. It was a simpler time.

That's me on the far left and that's husband on the floor. I can only guess I participated as "Franchesca" instead of a princess because a) I was a little bit of a tomboy and being a princess was morally repugnant or b) we only had two crowns to play with. Personally I'm a big fan of the "Royal Pet's" outfit. We let him wear his Ninja Turtles shirt to make it a little more manly.

Did anything awkward or awesome happen to you this week?

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

80's beauty

I found this photo of my mom today circa 1982:
Isn't she a fox?? She was a senior in high school here. I love her Farrah Fawcett hair!
Don't you think we should bring that back?

On to Weird Wedding Wednesday! I get asked all of the time if I've ever had anyone chicken out and leave someone at the altar. The answer is no... but I've been close.

This bride was nervous from the start. She was 26 years younger than the groom (now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger) and had only known him for a couple of months. She spent the majority of our time together in the bride's room before the ceremony pacing. We might have to replace the carpet.

I had to go downstairs and get the music prepped, so I left her with a fan blowing on her and some Kleenex stuffed in her armpits. We run a really classy establishment. When I came back upstairs, she had fainted. Dramatic much?

There was one failed escape attempt out the bathroom window followed by lots of talking, crying (makeup!) and hugging. I thought about just letting her go, but she really was crazy about the guy. She was just getting cold feet. I finally got that jittery wreck standing at the end of the aisle with a bouquet in hand. I do it all, people. I'm a wedding goddess. I'm now adding bridal therapist to my resume.

This particular bride and I still keep in touch, actually. She and her husband are now expecting their first baby and they couldn't be happier. Love knows no age limit.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I'm kind of a big deal...

Today I was one of the featured crafters over at this lovely! Special thanks to the fabulous Nichelle for featuring Preston and Randi's Sweethearts flowers! I'm honored.

P.S. By way of an update, all of the cousins received creepy phone calls from a "murderer-type" voice telling us to beware because H2 is on the way. They came from all different numbers. Mine came from my mom's number while I was talking to her on the other line. Also, my cousins Amy and Kate received a bag of raw meat! 

I'm starting to fear for my life.