Back to our regularly scheduled programming

It's been a while since I did a Weird Wedding Wednesday post. I've just been having way too much fun involving myself in public embarrassment I guess. :)

This week I'm going to tell you about one of my very first weddings. It nearly scared me out of the business altogether. It was a goth wedding. The cake was a black castle with a dragon flying overhead. When you cut into it, it oozed raspberry filling (to look like blood). They also served Hawaiian Punch to look like blood. The bride's dress was gorgeous, albeit very untraditional. It was black with an 18-layer tulle skirt that faded from black into blood-red at the bottom. It almost looked like she had been walking around a bloody massacre scene and the bottom six inches of her dress got soaked. Which was, most likely, the effect she was hoping for. She carried a bouquet of dead roses.

This couple was bizarre with a capital B. The bachelorette party involved a seance. The bridesmaids' makeup included streaked mascara as if they had been sobbing uncontrollably and hadn't slept in days. The groom's fingernails were at least 5 inches long and stained black. He also had ceramic vampire fangs. Figures.

Instead of the traditional ring exchange, the couple opted to instead pierce one another's chins. During the ceremony. In our beautiful chapel. Yeah. Having never before witnessed such a thing done, I nearly died. The reception lasted 6 hours and at some point turned from a creepy yet somewhat calm gathering to a raging orgy. The groom was off in the corner with three vampire women (all biting each other periodically) and the bride disappeared with some guy in a cloak and didn't return for hours.

As for me, I hid in the closet.