Now a lot of people sing at weddings. It's very common. I always think it's sweet when the groom sings to the bride. Lyrics can often be the most perfect words you could say to your sweetheart. So when this groom sat down at the piano during his wedding reception and announced he had a special song prepared for his new wife, the room was still with anticipation.
He opened his mouth and the first few notes came out. Those notes sounded a lot like what I imagine the child of Prince and Reba McEntire might sound like on a very gnarly roller coaster. The kind of roller coaster that makes you either pee your pants or throw up on the person behind you. I wanted to run and hide and pretend music was never invented. He finally finished and there was a collective sigh of relief (I swear there was!) amongst the attendees. Just when I started thinking, ok so that was spectacularly awful, but it was kind of cute that he was singing for her, the singing started again. Oh. My. Dang. The groom was singing another song! People looked around like they were trying to see if he was serious. Someone started giggling and a few people even gasped.
He went on to sing two more songs after that. That's right my friends. FOUR SONGS. I thought my head was going to explode! Once he finished, everyone just stood there. A couple people clapped and the rest ran for the bar. He then announced that he would be handing out CDs for the next half an hour and signing autographs. At his wedding!! The people at the bar had the right idea. I thought about taking up drinking myself.
Luckily I had Ingrid Michaelson on my phone in the back to restore my faith in humanity.
Whew! That was a rough one to recall. Those four songs haunted my dreams for a while afterward. Mostly I've tried to block it out by drowning myself in my favorite musicals. Let's listen to some of this loveliness:
Feel better? Me too.