Wednesday, February 9, 2011

A Rat in the Pond

Today's Weird Wedding Wednesday is gross. It talks about death and rodents all in the same post. I won't blame you if you stop reading now. I wouldn't blame you if you never read my blog again. Although, if you made it through the Zombie Walk post, you're probably a pretty brave lil' soul.

On to the story. One fine day I was busy at work making a wedding magical for a beautiful couple who was madly in love.  So on this fine, magical day, I was meandering out by the fish pond checking on the state of the gardens when I saw it.

There was a dead rat floating in the pond next to the lily pads.

I may have gagged. I can't quite recall. I was definitely not pleased. So then I start having a debate with myself. I said, "Self, what should be done in this situation? Do I remove the deceased from the area now and risk making a scene during the wedding, or do I remove it in secret at the end and risk someone seeing it later?" What a conundrum. I decided to let it be for now.

A few minutes later...
Random guest: My son just told me there's a dead rat in the pond outside.
Me: *inward groan* Thank you for letting me know we'll take care of it.

A few minutes later...
A different random guest: Some of the kids are outside and they're saying there's a dead rat in the pond.
Me: We are aware of the situation. We'll take care of it. Thank you.

So much for not making a scene. I ran back into the kitchen to speak with the building manager.
Me: There's a dead rat in the pond outside. A couple people have mentioned it.
Manager: Just leave it there until the end of the event. We don't want to be trailing a dead rat around through the wedding.
Me: That's what I thought.

A total of seventeen more guests felt it was their civic duty to inform me about the rat problem. At one point, there were about thirty people gathered around the pond staring at it. I wanted to get on the microphone and be like, "Oh Mylanta, people! We are aware of the situation with the dead rodent. Can we please peel our eyeballs away from the corpse now and get back to the elegant celebration??"

In case you were wondering, I was the chosen one that got to dispose of the thing. And this time I did gag. For sure. Are you having anything yummy for dinner? :)

Since I've been told a post without a picture is morally repugnant, feast your eyes on the cuteness:
He likes to stick his face in the snow. Weirdo.


M said...

you have me in tears of laughter. seriously. probably one of the funniest things i've ever heard!!

love the photo. adorable!