Family Portrait

Have you ever visited this magical place??

It's pretty much one of the best ideas anyone's had. At least since peanut butter M&M's. Look how ours turned out!

OH. YEAH. 

This is going to have its own very special section of wall space. 

Yep, you should get one of your own. 

Would you try it?

Ben and Jerry's just released a new ice cream flavor.

I find myself weirdly curious. To try or not to try?

Lately...

This is what we've been up to lately since the Great Blog Neglect of Summer 2011 began. It was a really fun summer!

Yes, I am still stuck in the middle of the soul-sucking abyss of woe and endless misery that is job-hunting. But at least I'm upbeat about it, right? :) I may have even applied for a job as a dock worker. I live in Utah. Where do we even have docks?? They didn't hire me due to my inability to lift a box as heavy as me and twice as tall over my head while sipping a bathtub size Coke from the gas station. Seriously, have you seen the size of the drinks those guys have?? I could comfortably wade in one of them.

I'm up for a job now that I really really want. It's perfect for me and I'm perfect for it. I don't want to say what it is in case I jinx it. Pray for me, friends. Ok?

That cute little smores package was actually a birthday party invitation for my dear sister's birthday. We had a campout and a giant, Amazing Race style treasure hunt! Did I also mention that we had a campfire in an old wheelbarrow? Yeah. It was super legit. And way better than a plain-old, regular campfire.

To answer your question: No, we were not practicing for Halloween. Did you see how I did that? I answered your question before you even had a chance to ask it! How efficient. Seriously, who wouldn't want to hire me? We dressed as zombies for the 4th Annual Salt Lake City Zombie Walk. No, I didn't make that up. It's a real thing. Hundreds of people attended this year. It was pretty nuts. Here we are last year. Sorry if that last zombie picture gives you nightmares.

Next we took a cousins trip to California. Cue the Beach Boys music. We spent a day lounging on the beach. Husbandman was ashamed by the pitiful size of our fire so the boys took some roasting sticks and stole fire from our neighbors after they left theirs. They were so brave.

Men are here! Steal fire! Cook meat!

Then we went to Hollywood. None of us had ever been. I had Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus stuck in my head the whole time.

Finally, we went to DISNEYLAND! We saw my BFF, Mickey! We went on the new Little Mermaid ride (sooo cute!) and we took an afternoon nap during the Aladdin show. Just to be clear, that show is not bad. We were just freaking tired. Seriously, how can you not be happy when you're in Disneyland? Well, actually, my feet were not happy by the time we left. Three 16-hour days of Disney mania will do that to an old woman. It took them weeks to forgive me.

Speaking of the Little Mermaid, our last summer hurrah consisted of a trip down to St. George to see The Little Mermaid at Tuacahn. It was amazing! Husbandman was even singing along for some of it. I'll make a Broadway believer out of him yet.

The last thing I should mention is that I'm now addicted to Project Runway. There have been marathons on the Style network. It is the perfect show for the unemployed. Do any of you watch it? It's fascinating to me how 5 hours a day of watching this show makes me actually believe that I could rip the fabric off of my couch and whip up a fabulous suede jacket in no time. Or perhaps a chic dress with a matching bag. And really, I can barely operate a sewing machine.

I need a job.

?

The weirdest thing I've found lately...

Under what circumstances would you use these?

Today I love...

... flowers in a bucket.

Ok, so they're not really flowers. They're weeds. And they won't live through the day. But I think they're cute just the same.

... vintage picnic baskets.

Ok, so it's not really vintage. I found it for $10 at Walmart of all places. But it looks vintage and it's lined with the most adorable floral fabric. So I think it's cute just the same.

... flowers in a bucket sitting on vintage picnic baskets.

I set these in my window after a photo shoot just to get them out of the way. But it makes me smile so that is that.

Somewhere right in the middle...

Hello all! It's Thursday! I've been pretty sure all day that it's Wednesday or Friday. Or Monday or Tuesday.  At what age is it normal to not remember what day of the week it is? I knew I never should have had that last birthday!

Awkward:
- I'm listening to music and I keep typing song lyrics instead of this post. School is over and apparently so is my ability to multi-task.
- Poor husbandman is sick. :( He says his sick voice sounds like a transvestite. Cue strange visual. P.S. Men are babies when they're sick. No offense, men.
- This guy was hauled off of a plane and booked because his pants were too low. You know, the kind of pants that are barely functioning as pants cause they're hanging down below their bum? He refused to pull them up. I actually feel bad for the reporter who had to spend his time to cover such a dumb story. When in doubt, always pull your pants up. Jeez.
- I recently found out that most of the ice cream in ice cream commercials is actually colored mashed potatoes. I feel like I've been living a lie.
- A girl in one of my friend's classes asked if all the world's countries share the same moon. I am worried for this generation.
- I decided that I want to learn to play tennis well. It seems like a worthwhile sport. Then I got kinda sad because I realized that the worst part about about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I will never be as good as a wall.
- Did you know Live Savers were invented the same year the Titanic sank? Ironic.

Awesome:
- The cousins and I finally got our Harry Potter tickets! We're going as an army of house elves. If that's not legit, I don't know what is.
- Speaking of Harry Potter (which I do, a lot) the other day I was at Jamba Juice and they asked for my name and I told them it was Voldemort. When the girl called my name to come get my snoothie, she said, "Vol- I mean, He-who-must-not-be-named!" I think this girl and I could be great friends.
- I asked husbandman the other day who his first crush was and he said me and the pink Power Ranger.
- Yesterday I saw an advertisement for granola bars that said "Grab health by the nuts."
- I plan to spend the next half hour drawing faces on all of our eggs. Hopefully husband doesn't read this before he sees them. He likes to read our blog to help him keep up on what is happening in our lives. :)
- Do any of you watch So You Think You Can Dance? Love. This particular dance was from a few years ago but it remains one of my favorites to this day. If you want to skip all the talking and just get down to the dancing, skip to 2:15.



Did anything awkward or awesome happen to you this week?

Oh man, that's awkward...

Hey all! I hope you are well this Friday! I'm posting Awkward and Awesome Thursday a day late.

Awkward:
- Watching me walk. It's a cross between a waddle and a scoot. I hate injured ankles. Who really likes them though?
- In a previous AandA post, I mentioned that I bought a clear shower curtain to check for serial killers. Today on Dear Blank, Please Blank, I read one that said,

Dear you,

Congrats on being smart enough to look behind the shower curtain... So what's your next move?

Sincerely, 

Serial Killer.

I'm scared because I really have no idea what my next move would be. Maybe I'll ninja kick the shower curtain.
- Last night I went to see a movie with a couple cousins. I think I pulled something after I jumped particularly violently. I also watched about a third of the movie through my clear water bottle as a sort of barrier to protect me from evil. I'm so brave.
- I woke up this morning crying because Sea World doesn't have narwhals. I'm unsure why.
- Listening to a really interesting story a friend is telling me and not being able to remember how long my mouth has been hanging open. Long enough for a little drool to start puddling. Ew.
- I spent almost ten minutes looking for my phone under the seat in my car before realizing that I was using it as a flashlight. Sometimes I wonder why I even have a phone. I spend half my life looking for it.

Awesome:
- Awesome birthday gifts! I recently added this little baby to my arsenal:

I'm in love with the cute little prints this guy makes. I just need to figure out how to use him better.

- Husband's unicorn name: Acorn Pretty Coat. He's mortified. Feel free to address him as such whenever you wish to see him turn red. Mine is Orchid Pretty Coat. I think it'll do. 

- I think Katy Perry is the first person to ever use the word "transcendental" correctly in a song. I'm impressed. 

- I found out that they sell sandwiches in cans. It's called a Canwich. That's something my father-in-law would think was funny. 

- Husbandman is sick with a cold. To cheer him up, I plan to replace all the labels on the medicine bottles with Harry Potter potion names. 

- If the Mayans were right about 2012 then at least I won't have to pay back my student loans.
- Yesterday I spent 10 minutes playing a song on Google's logo.
- The two people who were the original voices of Minnie and Mickey Mouse got married. This pleases me.
- You can now make your corn look like a light saber. Husbandman is very excited about this. They call it Obi Wan Cornobi. Oh boy.

- I blew up a picture of my brother's head to a 16x20 and printed out four of them. We put them on sticks and brought them to his graduation. It was hilarious! More photos of that to come soon.

Did anything awkward or awesome happen to you this week?

Manifesto

Oh heavens! This is completely the story of my life. I will say, however, that I am rather good at running with Plan B. Thanks to Starry-Eyed Charlie and her Magical Thinking Project, I have created my own manifesto. So think about this today as you go forth and do battle. Especially today on Friday the 13th (dun dun dun!)

Cause Plan B can sometimes turn out even better than Plan A.
Britt

I am not a fashion blogger

This is my graduation dress in case anyone cares to see it. I love it. The shoes may be my favorite part. The red shape on the grass in the background is the remains of a stuffed animal that was mauled to death by my dog. He does that.

This is my graduation announcement. It's very untraditional, which is just the way I like it.

And that makes 50!

Wow! Thank you guys all so much for your support! There are so many awesome people out there in bloggy land!

As promised, it's time for our first giveaway! I'm pretty excited to give this to you.

Have you heard of Fred and Friends? Pretty much the coolest website ever! They make all kinds of useful, everyday objects but turn them ultra super cool.

Every summer in Salt Lake City we have what's called the Annual Zombie Walk. It's just what it sounds like. Hundreds of people dress up like zombies and walk around downtown looking for brains. Amazing, huh? You can read about our experience last year here.

In honor of the 4th Annual Zombie Walk taking place this August, and to honor the fact that this year we celebrated Halloween 2 in April, I am giving away...

An ice cube tray to zombiefy your drinks! And I also just invented a new word. See? I told you it was going to be cool. I pretty much can't wait to use this. Regular ice cubes aren't going to cut it anymore.

So all you need to do to possess this randomness (which is dishwasher safe, by the way!) is become a public follower of my blog and leave a comment telling me in the best words you can think of what you plan to do with your ice shaped like brains. Are you going to have a Halloween 2 party this summer? Or perhaps join us for the Zombie Walk this year?

Either way, I hope you have a great week!

P.S. This giveaway will go for just this weekend. It ends Monday, April 25 at midnight. Make sure I have a way to contact you. In other words, enable your email in your profile. Ready, set, go!
I hope you win!

Pretty Awkward and Pretty Awesome

I hope y'all are having a fabulous week! Yeah, I said y'all. I've secretly always wanted to have a southern accent. I think they're charmin'. See? I just did it again.

Awkward:
- My husband's family has been gone all week and I'm pretty sure we are responsible for killing their fish. I replaced it with the closest one I could find at the store. Hopefully they won't notice. :/
- Last night I was wired and husband was tired. He got fed up with me bouncing on the bed and asking him his opinion on the newest episode of Modern Family. Out of nowhere, he had a sudden outburst in his Donald Duck voice and it scared me so bad, I fell off the bed.
- Bandit got a haircut. He looks kinda like a stormtrooper.
- Last week I was in the bathroom at school and this girl came in humming "Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas. Still humming, she then proceeded to pee to the beat of the song. I sat there trying not to bust up laughing as she kept humming while washing her hands. I walked out of my stall and she stopped humming and stared at me. "I thought I was alone," she whispered. Awkward for her, hilarious for me!

Awesome:
- Husbandman's reaction to this. I love buying weird things online for the sole purpose of scaring one's spouse.
- America's Best Dance Crew. Does anyone else watch this? Amazing!
- One time in Biology class I couldn't remember the scientific name of white blood cells (leukocytes) so I wrote lukeskywalker. My teacher said it was close enough and gave me full credit.
- Only one more follower until I give away something cool! Keep in mind, people, this is a relative term. What I think is cool tends to equal something totally random and weird. I mean, did you see the toilet monster?
- I found my dentist on Facebook. I love this silly world we live in.
- Easter this weekend!
- Saturday, my cousins and I are having a British Garden Party in celebration of the Royal Wedding coming up soon. I am going as Ms. Abigail Plumbottom, widow to the late Sir Fitzwilliam Dunderbore. Husband is going as Mr. Percival Hornswoggle, gentleman caller. I love my cousins and our crazy ways.
- I really like the shade of my toenails right now.
- I found this on Etsy. I feel strongly that no household should ever be without one of these:

 The original chalkboard horse. Yesssssssss!

The Toilet Monster

I bought this guy to scare husbandman. I can't wait until he gets home!

It's All About the Bean

Awkward:
- I found a container of leftovers in my fridge the other day. I had forgotten about them because they were in a sour cream container. The several weeks they had lived in my fridge had not been kind to them. It was a malodorous calamity.
- There is a middle school in our area whose mascot is a Trojan. This would not be inappropriate if their school motto was not "Do hard things."
- I'm quite sick. I tried so hard to remain well. I was beautifully handling the transition from winter to spring. Then yesterday I woke up with a sore throat. And today I feel like I've been blown up on a speeding train every 8 minutes for the past two days. Yes, I recently saw Source Code.
- Getting off on a tangent when you're trying to make a... SQUIRREL!
- Bandit went out to play in the rain. When he came back inside he smelled really bad. Like wet dog. Ug! So I sprayed him with Febreeze. And now he smells like clean linen. Am I a bad person?
- This couple found Kate Middleton's face on a jellybean. They are selling it for over $800. We may have reached an apex in Royal Wedding hysteria.

Awesome:
- I think when we hit 50 followers I will give away something cool. 50 seems like a nice, round number. Plus we're almost there. What do you think? I enjoy entering giveaways. It feels like a less risky version of Vegas. I like visiting, but I'm much too poor and unlucky to gamble away any moola. Maybe I would if I found some on the ground or something.
- Today I saw the Statue of Liberty being chased down the street by a guy in a pizza costume. That can't be an easy job.
- I ordered a book from Amazon about how to run a successful small business. It came today, and instead a received a book called Extreme Dinosaurs. I consider this a reasonable substitute.
- I'm writing a song for husbandman. It's about bacon and Costco.
- In nursery on Sunday I was chatting with this little girl (she's almost 3). I asked her what she wanted for Christmas and she said, "A magic rainbow pony that farts fire." Seriously, kids are the best!
- I just found a new favorite bobblehead. Flo from the Progressive commercials. Fun fact of the day: I collect bobbleheads.

Did anything awkward or awesome happen to you this week?

Death by Coolness

Husbandman found this song the other day. I wish I could play it. Or any human for that matter. But if I could play it, I think I would probably have to die right then and there. Because I would be too cool for this world.

I should have gotten his autograph

It has come to my attention recently that American Idol has started up again, so I thought I would share a weird wedding story with you this Wednesday about a groom who... sang.

Now a lot of people sing at weddings. It's very common. I always think it's sweet when the groom sings to the bride. Lyrics can often be the most perfect words you could say to your sweetheart. So when this groom sat down at the piano during his wedding reception and announced he had a special song prepared for his new wife, the room was still with anticipation.

He opened his mouth and the first few notes came out. Those notes sounded a lot like what I imagine the child of Prince and Reba McEntire might sound like on a very gnarly roller coaster. The kind of roller coaster that makes you either pee your pants or throw up on the person behind you. I wanted to run and hide and pretend music was never invented. He finally finished and there was a collective sigh of relief (I swear there was!) amongst the attendees. Just when I started thinking, ok so that was spectacularly awful, but it was kind of cute that he was singing for her, the singing started again. Oh. My. Dang. The groom was singing another song! People looked around like they were trying to see if he was serious. Someone started giggling and a few people even gasped. 

He went on to sing two more songs after that. That's right my friends. FOUR SONGS. I thought my head was going to explode! Once he finished, everyone just stood there. A couple people clapped and the rest ran for the bar. He then announced that he would be handing out CDs for the next half an hour and signing autographs. At his wedding!! The people at the bar had the right idea. I thought about taking up drinking myself. 

Luckily I had Ingrid Michaelson on my phone in the back to restore my faith in humanity. 

Whew! That was a rough one to recall. Those four songs haunted my dreams for a while afterward. Mostly I've tried to block it out by drowning myself in my favorite musicals. Let's listen to some of this loveliness: 

Feel better? Me too.

The Moonlight and You

A lovely little lady brought this by for me today:

She painted it just for me and my hubbs. See our initials there on that tree? It is so beautiful! I cried a little bit. It's huge and painted on canvas and just waiting for me to find the perfect spot to hang it. Do you love it or what??

Plus it takes me just a little closer to my goal of covering my walls with art and owning 50 original artistic works (see my Mighty Life List).

The painting was inspired by this song: 

The lyrics have always reminded me of Brade and I and our love story. Also in the spirit of our love, we're going to eat this tonight:

Chocolate Molten Cake from Chili's. It is so beautiful! I cried a little bit. I love being in love. 

My Feet Smile

I do not profess to be a fashion blogger. Far from it, in fact. I am still struggling to find my personal style. I love to read fashion blogs and see the way people can pair things together in a creative way to create an amazing outfit. The art of fashion is lost on me, however.

But I do have these great boots!

Don't you love them? I wore them today with some hot pink tights. That is definitely a new thing for me. I kind of love how they look. This post inspired me to try them out. I love Sydney's style! Sidenote: my sister thinks it's weird when I call her Sydney because, well, we don't know each other from Adam. I don't know what else to call her though, besides that one blog girl.

So I am now officially dipping my baby toe into the world of fashion. Because, let's face it, I need some serious help in that department.

I hope you all have a happy week! Wear some killer shoes that make your feet smile for me. :)
Britt