Lonely and Hunting Spiders

It's Awkward and Awesome Thursday! I haven't done this for a while. But there's not much to do around here tonight.

Awkward:
- Braden is gone for the weekend on the Davis family vacation. Yes, I am a Davis. No, I didn't go with. I have a new job, see. I'm still in training. This isn't so much awkward as sad. I'm lonely without my love. At least Bandit is here to keep me company.
- Speaking of Bandit, have you seen the way that dude sleeps? Observe:

That can't possibly be comfortable.
- The pawprints on those pictures. It's to maintain modesty. But it's pretty awkward.
- The incident that occurred a mere 20 minutes after husbandman left for the weekend. It involved a spider, the TV keychain mentioned in this post, a shoe and a glass of water. It ended with a bruise on my hip and a soaking wet dog. Somehow, the spider is still roaming freely about my apartment.
- Clipping my toenails. Awkward position, where to put them?, awkward crotch exposure, just...awkward. Does anyone else feel this way about this project?
- When you go to a bathroom in a public place alone and the toilet paper is empty.
- I wonder if Owl City has ever actually thought about getting a thousand hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs. That would be completely terrifying!
- Love handles. Why are they called that? My feelings toward them have nothing to do with love.

Awesome:
- The person who decided to print the tag on the inside of t-shirts. Finally the itching has stopped!
- I saw a big, scary-looking guy buying kitten food today. Never again will I judge a book by its cover.
- Self checkout. Sometimes it's nice to avoid awkward conversations with the cashiers. Times like when you're buying feminine stuff. Or itch cream.
- I typed this sentence using only my toes and a hairbrush.
- Costco samples. Aka free lunch for poor college students.
- I figured out a cure for depression. A place where you can go and play with hundreds and hundreds of puppies.
- A friend of mine from work used to be a singer on a cruise ship. He decided to start singing "My Heart Will Go On" to end his set. On a big ship. Brilliant choice, no?

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

I'll be here. Lonely and hunting spiders.